new story: trying it out

[Sekrador]

"SCGRACK!!" a rock crushed Detringar.
"No!!!!!!" Lentico cried out "My best friend.....gone.....FOREVER!!!" he sobs.
Letrick patted him on the back "Get up, he's gone now...."
"But he was my best friend!!! No one can replace him!!!!"
Lentico got up and sat on another rock. "Careful," warned Letrick "Any of these rocks could be traps, like the one that crushed Detringar."
"B-b-but i d-d-deserve to die" sobbed the weeping man.
"GET UP!!!! This is no time for resting around!!!! We have to keep moving or the kings army will catch up." like a reply to the comment, a wind came up from the southern direction.


Well anyway that's a start. Hoping to do very well. any suggestions welcome.

[Silence]

Less exclamation points. (again, taylor - i have a ton of accounts)

[Sekrador]

K thanks. anything is open, really need suggestions. i would say im better at poems, but storiess can be done